Wednesday, 26 November 2014

9 Questions Every Pole Dancer Gets Asked

In continuation of her super hit first post, Stripper Gymnasts on Poles, Ann Marie follows up with this one:

As pole dancing aka stripper gymnastics is one of the more unconventional sports around, we do get some comments and questions from members of the unknowing public about our chosen pastime. This is to set the record straight so no other pole dancer may here these questions or comments ever again.

1. I don't have the strength or flexibility to do pole dancing. 

This, ladies and gents, is probably the most irritating comment pole dancers get. This is exactly why everyone starts at Level 1. Neither of us at that point could lift anything, let alone go upside down. It is like any other conventional (and unconventional) sport - running, lifting weights, swimming... You improve as time goes on, AND you get to take impressive photos of yourself along the way.

P.S. @annmazarie still can’t do a pull up, but @tuesdaze_ can do three and she likes to show off. 

2. Does it help me lose weight?

Maybe. We didn't lose any. You’ll definitely tone up and gain definition. You'll lose some body fat if you eat well. Who cares about your weight anyway, as long as you look good. Naked. 

In the words of the sexiest villain around: 

If you really want to lose weight, our advice is stop eating and drinking for a day*^.
*Please consult a certified physician before embarking on any fad diet you found on the internet, especially on this blog. 
^For instant weight loss, try cutting off a limb or two. 

3. But I’m/You're a man.


Pole dancing does not have to be “sexy stripper” and not all male pole dancers are of the homosexual calling. Actually, men pole dancing is very sexy, especially to female pole dancers. The number of guys in pole classes has only had a marginal increase over the past 2 years, as more girls drag their boyfriends to classes. 

Magic Mike, anyone?

Men have the upper hand with strength moves, and us females are very jealous. In fact, if you’re a single, straight man, pole class would be an awesome way to meet lots of girls, in the same way that yoga class used to be in the Sex and the City days. If you're a gay man, you can meet other men. See? It's a win-win. 

4. But I’m/You're old.

You'll never get far in life with that sort of attitude. If you think you're never too old for anything you'll find opportunities abound opening up. Seriously, get that number out of your head and start living! We're actually feeling sorry for you right now. 

Oh yes, there are also pole dancers who have started in their 60s. Greta Pontarelli, now aged 64, was looking for a form of fitness to ward of osteoporosis. Her favourite trick is the Iron-X (skip to 1:44). Now do you feel too old? 

5. So you're a stripper-in-training now? 

"Stripper gymnast" is like the n-word. Only stripper gymnasts can say it. 

Being a stripper, just like being a banker or lawyer, is a personal choice. Some pole dancers are not strippers and some strippers can't pole dance to save their life. Oh, you meant it as a joke? It's neither funny nor original, and besides, we've heard it a thousand times already. In fact, people should ask if we're Cirque du Soleil-in-training instead. 

6. It looks so hard.
Life is hard.

7. Hey, have you seen this awesome/funny pole video?

Seriously, stop tagging us in the pole videos you've found. We've seen them. 

The Indian guy on the massive tree trunk? Seen it. Make that twenty. The boys on the subway? Seen it. The winner of that pole dance competition and everyone else? Seen it. Pole bloopers? Seen it. That cool move some other person did? Seen it.  

8.Can I be your pole?

This question probably doesn't happen a lot, due to the fact that most of us don't reveal that we pole dance at the first conversation with strangers. For the ladies, this is because we might end up with questions like this from sleaze bags. And our answer is: 

9. How do I start?

Yay!!! A question that we don't hate and definitely our absolute favourite. Pole studios have been popping up all over the place – four in Singapore in the last three months. Sign up for a beginner class or a trial (usually free). See the Studio Directory for a list of all the pole studios in Singapore or do a quick Google search.

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